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Monday, November 9th, 2009
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...we find out what we are gonna have... *ahhhhhh!* had a dream night before last it's twins, a boy and a girl...which would be awesome. funny thing, it's possible...his mom is a twin, and my dad was a twin, lol...and it already skipped a generation... :P
regardless, plan on editing in a bit or posting a new one saying what we are having...got lots of phone calls to make though, so forgive me if i don't get right on it!
*huggles*
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, October 30th, 2009
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been meaning to become more active on here again. of all the networking/friends sites i've been on, livejournal still remains my favorite, i'm just never here, wtf?
we find out the gender of baby a week from today. will post when i find out. i just know the little thing's kicks are getting stronger...speaking of which, i must be sensitive to it or something...i remember feeling movement quite early...10 weeks, i think it was? pretty crazy...
being pregnant is hard...well, with mental issues, lol. not taking my medicine for depression/anxiety leaves me disinterested in practically everything, and i cry a lot. like, almost every night when i'm alone. i shut off too, i'm not talking to nate like i should be. and no meds for fibro, well...i hurt all the time, and that just makes it worse. but, i've heard it's all worth it, so i'm hangin' on, and i wouldn't change the situation for anything...
still trying to get back into drawing, but it's just not happening...
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, September 4th, 2009
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Although I loved my job, I had to quit. The pain is unbearable...not sure I mentioned, but was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. The doc did blood work to rule out the other conditions that I could have had, did the point-test thing on me, and came to that conclusion, I guess. Medicine made work bearable, but WHOOPS! Preggo, cannot take that stuff...so, WEEE came back the pain times two...
Pregnancy goes well...now 10 weeks preggers. Nate and I have our first appointment next Friday...I am excited a lot.
Think I will start drawing again. Prolly just gonna start selling from my website, I guess. I dunno. Not sure if I want to bog myself down with commercialism again or not. We shall see...
Anywho, hope all is well. *huggles*
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Still not been drawing...mah bad.
I like the new job. I like my boss, my coworkers, the hours (well, sorta!), and the work involved. I'm catching on quickly and being trained in more things. We have a quota that gives us a percentage rate when a job is done...I've been staying above 100% most jobs...hopefully I'll get a raise in 3 months...
It's not as bad as I thought it would be...working when Nate's not...Nate working or being away when I'm off, but I'm dealing with it well. I get home between noon and 4pm every day, so I get to spend a little time with him before he works...even if it's a nap while he's sleeping before his night shift. I'm happy to be working again. Not so much for the money, but to be doing something productive...unfortunately, art never has given me that feeling. Doesn't mean I don't love it, but it's always been more of a burden than a blessing it seems...
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My new job...my hours start between 3 and 6am. @_@ Next week, I will have Monday with mah baby...until about 6pm...gotta go to sleep then, 'cause I gotta wake up at 2:30am to meet at the van at 4am...lots of out-of-town stuffs. My schedule start times is thus: Tues: 4am, Wed: 3:30am, Thurs: 6am, Fri: 3:30am....wowzuhs! Hey, but we get to do a Toys R Us on Friday...maybe it'll be more fun don't wanna-ing to grow up. LOL!
This is gonna drive me nuts...but, don't have to work past 2 or 3pm most days...guess that's a good thing. :X Like I said, less time with Nate...by the time I get home, he's getting ready for his 12-hour night shift...then, I leave before he gets home, and no weekends together. Ugh...and, I rarely have to work Saturdays or Sundays...go figure, hahahahahaaa! (that's me going insane)
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Heya, everyone. How's things with my LJ friends? :)
Weyull, I like the new job. Think it's what "real job" I've been looking for. It's complicating things at the moment, though...Nate serving weekends, he makes up those days of work his misses during the week...so the days I work, he needs a different way home. But, I keep telling myself...only until October. Still seems farther away than it did in December...
Feeling a bit depressed today. Less time with Nate and all...then those two days (every other Monday and Tuesday) we usually spend together, I have to work one, and he has a bunch of errands planned out for the other. But, he says we've got a date Monday...so we shall see. As you can tell...a large portion of my happiness comes from my time with Nate. Lacking that, well...it's getting to me and making me think stupid thoughts.
But, yanno...things are still good...just taking it as I can. Hope I'm not annoying him...I admit I am kinda clingy. Of course, I warned him of that before we ever became a couple. I explained to him what happened with Dave and the ways I may react in certain situations, and that I would probably be clingy because I am now more than ever afraid of losing a mate. As I've also already told Nate, if he and I didn't work out for some reason, I am done with it. I couldn't do it again...
Wow, this one is depressing...sowwy, folks.
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Thursday, April 30th, 2009
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I got a new job. Applied Saturday, got a call Monday, hired yesterday, start Monday. Pretty friggin' cool. I am looking forward to this one. Along the lines of something of a "real job" I can handle. It is an inventory service that seems pretty cool. Could have overtime hours one week and no hours the next. The trainer/hirer was honest enough to say to everyone that this job isn't for someone footing rent, bills, etc. Luckily, my employment and paycheck is merely to say "HA! I have a job!" to those who badger me about it, and to patch up the week Nate doesn't get paid. My paychecks won't be pretty, but as I get better and the longer I am there, I have heard good things about the raises there. I am a bit nervous, I have never done inventory solely before, but excited because I don't have to constantly deal with customers, most of my time is in the early morning and all I have to say is "I am sorry, I don't work here." I get home before 3pm most days, but may have to get up as early as 2am some days to go out of town. Since I have a clean driving record, they want to get me to become a driver, which pays pretty well just for driving, on top of hourly rates for inventories. Seems nice, my first work week will be Monday-Wednesday, then I don't work (or at least I'm not yet scheduled) for another 6 days after that. I like that. My main concern was not being able to be around Nate, he works 12 hour night shifts and since he serves weekends, we get to have only 6 nights together per month. That is only until October, so I can hang, but at least with a sketchy real job work schedule, I will be employed but won't have to go to say, WALMART five days a week for 20 hours of work and have 24/7 availability. Yanno? And, another good part...no split shifts! So, yeah...planning on staying with this company. Nate and I have also talked about moving to Tulsa within the next year or two, and if I stick with the company for that long, transfers are a piece of cake.
Drawing. Will still have time to draw, too. Of course, recently I've put down my drawings to help Mark out with something. He is still trying to get things going for himself, and his newest idea is really great. I will post something for you all to consider once things are underway. Through helping him, I've realized I want to learn more about computer graphics. I am making designs for some things, and I am such a draw-by-hand person, I have to draw it, scan it, then edit it in photoshop. Nate said something about getting me a Wacom tablet...or whatever they are called. I told him not to worry about it just yet. He is still trying to turn me into a shopper, but I'm just not one. He gets excited when I agree to let him buy me something. He was telling his friend, "Man, you have no idea how hard it is to get her to let me buy something for her." I told him my love isn't based on his paycheck, and I appreciate everything he's bought me...and those little things he has bought on his own and gifted to me...wow, he is good at that. :)
We had a wonderful week...Monday and Tuesday he had off and we went to the wildlife refuge...he took me out to eat at a place called the Old Plantation, that used to be just that but was made into a restaurant. We did some shopping, well I browsed and he shopped, went to Garfields, had friends over, and cuddled with one another a whole bunch. It was a lot of fun and made me feel really good. We get those two days every-other week...so we have learned to appreciate that time when it is here.
Not sure what else to say. I don't expect anyone to read this thing, but I post just in case anyone wonders about me. Some of my patrons read this thing to see if I still draw, and yes, I DO! I'm just slow and distracted at the moment, mah bad. ;)
In summary: I'm happy. Isn't that nuts?
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009
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So, like....art is being a complete asshole again.
Nate got a truck that he calls ours...and doood! It's the bomb. I've never driven a truck before, and it goes "VROOOM!" all pretty and loud and fast. HAHA!
So anyway...expect art to come sometime within, like...the next year or so, lol.
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Wednesday, April 15th, 2009
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Heya, friends. Been offline again for about a month, but I r back, woohoo! I've been working on Spring, modeled by Kayti (aka ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) fragirl). It's not nearly finished...seems each one takes longer and longer, haha! But, eh...wudeva.
Gonna start working on some different art soon, more illustration-type pieces than just cut-and-dry fantasy. Want something more in my art...and if it doesn't sale, oh well. I just need my art to say something instead of just being pretty.
Nate and I are still doing well. We went to Tulsa Monday and Tuesday and had a blast. No worries, Misti, I thought about you while there! I even mentioned to Nate, "I wonder if that's the university she goes to" because we stayed right across the way from Oral Roberts University. But, anywho. We didn't have time to do much, but man, it was nice to get out of Lawton, if only for 24 hours.
Hmm...looking at my icon, I think I want to start doing charcoal again. I dunno, just wanting to get back to being not-so anal retentive about my processes. They are getting ridiculous. A square inch of drawing takes me at least a solid hour. Sheesh, it's nuts. I have pushed the technique to the limits on blending and smoothness, now wanting to get into textures. I hate how flat my art looks at times...the only texture I've really played with is hair, and I like what I do with it. Spring's hair is pimpalicious, I might say. I made her a redhead as the model, but it's more like orange-pink-red and looks lustrous.
Okay, off to work on art. Speak soon everyone! And thank you for the happy b-day wishes!
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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So, WalMart and I didn't get along very well. Rude customers. Sheesh, people suck. What ever happened to being polite? Even when I am in a bad mood, I don't take it out while shopping, even if I do have to go to WalMart. Granted, I give attitude back where it's received from, usually sarcasm, but damn. I was fine on the sales floor...I could stay busy and do my job. Then they wanted me to watch the phones...fine, I have worked customer service on the phone before. Then they wanted me to watch the front door, check receipts and prepare returns/exchanges. Fine, but don't give me a crash course on it...and don't expect me to do it every day. I was pulled from my department daily, to do these other jobs. Then I get a memo that reads "even if you are pulled from your department, you are still accountable for your tasks." How am I supposed to do my tasks if I am not there? And how am I supposed to be there if I was told I could never say "no" to a manager? So...on set stress of not being able to do MY job. Then, being at the front door...WAAAAAAAAAAAY too many people...hundreds within the span of an hour. It freaked me out. Silly? No...I have always had problems with people...being in front of them, being around them, crowds, speaking to strangers, even speaking in front of groups of my friends. They call it social anxiety disorder...and yup, I've got the diagnosis. It's been years since I've seen my doctor about it, though...I decided to stop meds and do it on my own. Works well if you aren't around people. I couldn't get a doctor's note for the anxiety issue, so I just quit. I was getting physically sick from the stress. Funny how the brain works.
Good news? Nate encouraged me to quit. He said he wouldn't even had stood for the bullshit. He and I discussed my art on Thursday, we went to the wildlife refuge and talked for hours. He said he wants to see me pursue art again. He said he'd support whatever I decided to do, and he doesn't mind that I don't work. I explained how insufficient it makes me feel when I fail as an artist and when I am not working, making some sort of income. To that he replied, "If it makes you feel bad not to work, go ahead and work...but just remember that you don't have to...I don't expect you to." @_@ I am sooooooooo not used to someone being so......THERE for me.
Wanna know a secret? We have even discussed marriage. Funny thing? In the beginning, he and I both put on the table how against marriage we "are". Apparently things change. My romantic life is beautiful. I have never (and yes, to all who know my past...NEVER) been so happy in a relationship, nor so comfortable in my skin. His family is wonderful, too. There is so much love here.
Going to try my damnedest to work on art tonight...did so for about 30 minutes last night...then my best friend Mike called and wanted me to go to a drag show with him. By the way, drag shows are the BEST! Drag queens have the best personalities...they are so witty, so intelligent, and so in-your-face. It's wonderful. The cool thing about Mike is he is Nate's best friend, too. :) He's the guy that got us together.
Tomorrow's my 28th birfday. I think I was 21 or 22 when I met most of you. Crazy how time flies, huh? ;)
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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Hello, everyone.
I decided to move a piece from store inventory to 7-day auction on eBay, starting at 6pm PST tonight. The starting bid is ONE PENNY, and there is a very modest reserve on this piece due to the numerous hours put into it. Follow the link below to get to the auction. REMEMBER: this link will not work until the auction starts a 6pm PST!
"Folding Elements"
Feel free to bid...you won't be obligated to pay unless the reserve is met!
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Thursday, January 29th, 2009
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So, not really following the apprentice thing at this exact moment...not for about a month now. Still at WalMart, doing well there...getting an actual paycheck so it's bearable. I may return to the tattoo world some day, not sure exactly when, but things are going haywire in it (which we all expected, will update when things allow me to) and I went to WalMart before the expected became reality.
Nate and I are doing really well. I am so incredibly in love with this man. He is so good to me. I am now living with him for the most part...hopefully he and I will get a place soon when he gets out of some trouble he got in to before he and I became a couple. After that, my life will be in place. With one exception: I am still not drawing. Now, not so much as a sketch in a month. Haven't picked up a pencil with drawing intentions in as long. Feeling that tickle of desire, but still...just can't bring myself to do it. Many people have realized how much less stressed I am when I'm not drawing. Nate, included. He wants me to draw again, but he knows it is on my terms. I have explained and he has seen some of my actual mental issues, and although he doesn't understand, he is very understanding. And, his reactions to them are just right. He doesn't know what to do, but what he does in the end is make me feel better. I knew I wanted him for a reason...there was always some odd unexplained interest in him. And one day it happened. Good things come to those who wait? Yes, indeed.
I hope to update sometime soon with new artworks. I am going to take the advice of my friends IRL and here and start creating art for the pure fun of it again. I miss that. If I can keep dealing with this job as I have been, hopefully I can hang with it. If not, I dunno. I have dry spells every once in a while, but it's been since recovering from losing Dave that I have gone through one. It's not my longest by any means, but I always return to art better than before. Who knows what might happen.
Hope you all are well and staying warm. Take care! :)
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, January 13th, 2009
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I haven't drawn in three weeks. I have no desire to draw, either. I haven't sketched in over a week, and I couldn't care less. I wonder if I have finally given up on my art. I will see if it passes or not, but I realize I have become tired of trying without much of a break. I had a few new patrons last year, but they don't ever come back it seems. Not sure what I should do. My work sells cheaper now than it did when I first started on eBay, and I thought the reverse was supposed to happen. Perhaps I will try drawing again sometime soon, but my schedule at WalMart flip flops so much I am tired as hell most of the time and just want to sleep. I haven't been to the shop in over a week, and told everyone I didn't care about it anymore. Which is true because of the bullshit I've been fed, but it just sucks to not work on art and to have no desire to pull a piece out and see what happens. Hopefully it is just another dry spell.
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, January 4th, 2009
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Hello, everyone!
I have moved the "Strange Little Flower 2" mini ACEO/ATC original artwork from store inventory to a 7-day auction starting at $9.99. I have also moved the "UniJack" crazy cut-out original drawing to auction as well. Here are the links to my eBay listings:
"Strange Little Flower 2"
"UniJack"
I have begun working a new job, so I may continue to list originals from store inventory until I have the time to draw new originals. I thank you all for your continued support!
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Thursday, January 1st, 2009
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Hello, everyone!
First of all, Happy New Year! I hope everyone's holidays were wonderful and that this new year brings happiness to you all. :)
I have listed my newest artworks on eBay as prints. I will update you when my next originals are up for auction, which should be soon. Until then, here is the link to my eBay store, the new prints are the ones with the little sun icons next to them:
Side Show Freaks Art Gallery @ eBay
Thanks for looking!
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Sunday, December 28th, 2008
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It's being an asshole right now. Some aspects are okay, others are not. But, yanno...that's how it tends to go, right?
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Monday, December 22nd, 2008
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Saturday, December 20th, 2008
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This one is an ACEO/ATC; if you don't know what that means, there is a blurb in the listing that explains the acronym. This piece starts at $9.99 and is set at auction for 10 days, ending at 10:30ishness am, December 30th. I hope you enjoy this one...it's a bit silly, but then again, so am I.
"Urban Mummy"
She's kinda cute for the undead, isn't she?
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, December 14th, 2008
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Hello, everyone!
I have listed a new mini artwork at auction on eBay, starting at $9.99. This one is an elf-type creature holding her head...I have been struggling with a headache for about a week now, and oddly enough it inspired this piece. Here is the link to my eBay auction for 7 days this time around, and it will automatically start at 6pm eBay time:
"Terrible Headache"
Be sure to remember my eBay user ID has changed due to conflicts in accounts, so it is now "sideshow.tandoll" instead of just "tandoll". thanks for your continued support!
I hope you all enjoy, thanks for looking!
~TanDoll
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Saturday, December 13th, 2008
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